Perhaps the old boy really IS barely breathing. Which is why he only plays to the 40+ set in Performing Arts Centers, Casinos, soft-ticket college gigs and county fairs.

He comes through Lancaster to the American Music Theater probably every twenty-four months, but how’s THAT spreading the power of love when tickets are over seventy five bucks a pop?

At the pinnacle of his career (1986) tickets were less than twenty bucks.

New York, New York really IS everything they say. Especially when you’re charging $106 BEFORE fees for a Gramercy show. With fees and travel and hotels, that’s a $500 trip for a couple. Because who goes to see Huey with his guy-friends?

Seems like a couples-heavy kind of show.

Wasn’t there a settlement about the Ghostbusters debacle with Ray Parker Jr? That surely must have been seven digits.

And when Spielberg came knocking for a tune for Back to The Future, didn’t Hugo opt to do it so he wouldn’t have to go through the Ghostbusters bullshit again?

And Sports is heralded as one of the best-selling pop albums of all time.

So why the hell is The News so damn expensive?

Every act is doing it these days. Especially the old-heads. $100+ dollar tickets, $40+ dollar tee shirts. $10 beers at the gig. And they’re missing the target that got them where they are today…the kids in the clubs.

I know, I know. By no means am I saying that Huey Lewis should go back to playing only clubs. That would be crazy. But two or three surprise gigs a year in a tiny, 500-or-less capacity venue in a non-major market could be good for the same guy who played harmonica on Thin Lizzy’s Live and Dangerous AND with Umphrey’s McGee in 2005.

You see, it’s not that I can’t afford to see Huey Lewis and The News at the Gramercy or American Music Theater or some other casino for a triple-digit-ticket. I can. That’s not the point.

It’s the principle.

Jane’s Addiction just did two nights at Belly Up! in Aspen. (Capacity 400). Springsteen plays the Stone Pony and the Count Basie Theater once a year. (Both with capacities of under 1,000). Shit, the Rolling Fucking Stones played a surprise club date in Toronto for a five dollar cover!

Again – he doesn’t have to do a club TOUR. Just a show or two. One of them preferably at my club.

It’s cool, Huey. We’re all working for a living. And it IS hip to be square. But if you REALLY THINK that it don’t take money or a credit card to ride this train, you’ll push those boxes onto a tiny little stage and rock the shit out of four hundred people on seventy two hours notice.

THAT would be the heart of rock and roll. And something I’d pay a hundred bucks to see.

Flummoxed.

Absolutely STUNNED, I am, to see the photo that adorned the front page of PennLive tonight.

Are State Workers SO broke and SO poor and SO disadvantaged that nearly five hundred of them needed to take advantage of the Central Pennsylvania Food Bank’s offer to provide boxes of food after only one missed paycheck?

Those folks look pretty well dressed to be seeking that sort of assistance. I wonder if any of them cut back their cable package? Internet? Cell phone?

Lemme tell ya…as a self-employed individual who consistently hovers right around the poverty line AND has mouths to feed, I’ve NEVER been so broke and had my cubbards become SO bare that I’ve needed to get free groceries from a Food Bank.

Could State Workers, with their modest salaries, generous sick-days and vacation time and full health insurance be SO fragile and unprepared for the worst that with a single missed paycheck they find themselves in a G-D BREADLINE?

Is this 1930′s America?

State Workers: here’s a little tip sheet – from me to you- on how to survive on limited income for an extended period of time.

1. Shop at Weis instead of Giant. (And definitely DON’T go to Wegmans)
Weis is usually a bit cheaper than the cushy, bright and brand-new Giant stores.

2. Clip Coupons.
Seriously. Mom used to do it and would get a HUGE cart full of goodness for a family of six for less than a hundred bucks. (Sometimes, it’s the only reason I buy the Sunday paper)

3. Eat less, fattie.
Do you normally have three eggs for breakfast? Eat two. Get a gallon of Haagen Daas to keep in the freezer? Skip it. Absolutely HAVE to have Diet Pepsi? Switch to whatever is onsale for a buck a bottle.

4. Buy generic.
It’s the exact same shit. Really. There’s no difference between Weis brand Fruity O’s and Fruit Loops. ZERO difference between Weis brand OJ and Tropicana.

5. Two words: Ramen Noodles.
Act like you’re back in college. The kids won’t mind.

6. Shop midweek.
This isn’t scientific, by any means, but I’ve always found that the discounts are more prevalent on a Tuesday than they are on a Saturday (when EVERYONE else goes shopping).

7. Skip the sweets, tubby.
Frill-filled items are luxuries. I know you think you might not make it through the day without that Pepperidge Farms Seven Layer Cake, but in trying times, you should at least try.

8. If you smoke, smoke generic.
It might take some getting used to, but a USA Gold is essentially the same thing as a Camel Light.

9. Bring lunch to work.
Don’t go out to eat. Pack a PB&J, an apple and a bottle of water.

10. And finally, LEARN TO LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS.