Jersey Mike

To say “I love breakfast” is an understatement.

I really, really love breakfast.

If I could take a tomato, avocado and cheese omelet out to dinner, feed it some wine and take it home with me and watch a movie, I would.

If there weren’t a law prohibiting the fornication of a man and his English muffin, I’d probably have a litter of little baby English muffins running around my house today.

I love breakfast so much, that there have been days that I’ve had eggs in the morning, pancakes in the afternoon and waffles for dinner.

So any time someone new comes to Harrisburg, be it a band or a friend, I’m often quick to recommend a handful of great breakfast options. Because for as underwhelming a town that Harrisburg can be, we are fortunate to have a good smattering of breakfast choices.

Here, in no particular order, are ten great places to get a good breakfast in the Harrisburg area. (I’m not talking about brunch, which could be a post of it’s own. These are ten, solid, dependable diners, greasy spoons and corner shops to get a good cup of coffee, a couple eggs, toast and bacon)

1. Yankee Doodle Diner
902 North Front Street, Lemoyne, PA
(717) 731-9100

The first thing you need to know about this place is that it is NOT the Riverview Diner anymore. When this structure was known as the Riverview Diner, I swore it off for years due to terrible service, cold food and hair in my eggs. But under new ownership for about two years now, the Yankee Doodle Diner is one of my favorite breakfast spots. A creative menu featuring specials daily, burritos, omelets, waffles, pancakes, eggs, oatmeal and cereals served by a super friendly and always entertaining staff, this place keeps impressing me.

2. American Dream Diner
1933 Herr Street, Harrisburg, PA
(717) 234-5840

There’s nothing classy about The American Dream, both literally and figuratively, and this diner embodies all of it. It’s a classic train car diner perched at the intersections of Route 22 and Herr Street just north of Cameron in Harrisburg. Basic menu items like ham and cheese omelets, two-over with bacon and home fries and occasional baked oatmeal, but The American Dream is known for two locally-famous menu items – The Rope and The Annie’s Dream Omelet. The Rope is an emasculating piece of sausage served with two eggs and home fries. And Annie’s Dream is your cardiologists nighmare: a three egg omelet stuffed to the max with ham, peppers, onions, potatoes and topped with a few slices of American cheese. And the servers? Think the old Bounty commercials in the diner and you’re just about there. Get in early, though. They close at 2 daily.

3. Camp Hill Cafe
40 Erford Road, Camp Hill, PA
(717) 730-9887

My favorite part of this place is the Eggs Benedict options, specifically, the Crab Benedict. I’m not the kind of guy to judge, but it just irks me to hear someone say “Crab Bennie”. I know, I know. Stupid, right? Just a pet peeve. ANYWAY, this is another sort of off-the-beaten-path breakfast option that’s just up the road from the must-avoid Perkins at The Radisson just off of the Camp Hill Bypass and barely two minutes from the intersection of Front and Forster streets at the Harvey Taylor Bridge. Small and cozy, this is a nice alternative to some of the greasy spoons in the city. And the coffee is pretty great.

4. Flapjacks (Formerly known as Paul’s Pancake House)
9 N Us Route 15, Dillsburg, PA
(717) 432-8995

I wish this place was closer. It’s about fifteen miles south of Harrisburg on 15, but this list wouldn’t be complete without including this place. As the name would suggest, it’s known for pancakes. But what makes this little diner special is the beer selection. Tons and tons of microbrews lined up neatly in a few coolers just as you walk in the door, a full bar (for those Sunday morning Bloody Mary’s) and dozens of pancake options. It’s certainly not a quick stop on your Tuesday morning commute to work (unless you commute to Dillsburg…but who does that?), but for a weekend morning drive, it’s worth the trip.

5. Keystone Restaurant
1000 North 3rd Street, Harrisburg, PA
(717) 236-3273

I’m including the Keystone in this list because if I didn’t, my buddy Devin wouldn’t let me live it down. The Keystone is, at it’s heart, a greasy spoon with all of the glorious prestige that comes along with that designation. No frills, nothing fancy about the menu but it’s consistent, it’s quick and it’s filling. And the coffee is also decent. If you want quick, cheap and charismatic wait staff, pay the Keystone a visit.

6. Roxy’s Cafe
274 North Street, Harrisburg, PA
(717) 232-9232

I’m not going to dog on Roxy’s, because, in my heart, I love Roxy’s. I do. My buddies Chris Hoke, Adam Kline and myself used to duke it out over the Foursquare Mayorship of Roxy’s. But since I’ve fallen in love with the Yankee Doodle, I haven’t been in Roxy’s as often lately. But that shouldn’t stop you from going. Weekends can be sort of slow, depending on how many servers are on and who’s cooking on the line, but for great coffee, a good Lyonnaise (mushroom and cheese) omelet and Midtown Harrisburg resident people watching, Roxy’s is a staple. The sourdough toast is a nice option too.

7. Capitol Diner
800 Eisenhower Boulevard, Harrisburg, PA
(717) 939-2279

There’s a reason the Summerdale Diner in Enola didn’t make this list. And that reason is – The Capitol Diner. Conveniently located just off of I-283 heading to the airport (or Target), this is another example of how a once sub par diner went under new ownership and became something pretty darn good. So good, in fact, that I’d think it could stand up next to any of the newer remodeled diners in the Motherland – New Jersey. The decor isn’t gaudy, per se, but it’s got lots of multi colored shiny tiles, a sort of grand entrance way and the standard dessert display case that’s chock full of desserts that look much better than they actually are. (That’s not a knock at the Capitol diner, it’s true of ALL diners…seriously).

8. Skyline Family Restaurant
7510 Allentown Boulevard, Harrisburg, PA
(717) 652-1780

Again, another place which I wish were closer to downtown Harrisburg, The Skyline Family Restaurant has it all. Dynamite soups, sandwiches and daily specials, but the breakfast is killer. I often judge a breakfast spot by their home fries. And where the Keystone and American Dream simply slice em up and throw em in a frying pan, the Skyline seasons their home fries. Great service and a somewhat creative offering of the standard breakfast faire.

9. Dodge City
1037 Paxton Street, Harrisburg, PA
(717) 236-2719

I’m gonna keep this simple, because that’s what you get at Dodge City: a surprisingly good and simple breakfast with the option of a hair-of-the-dog drink for your Monday Morning Hangover. Dodge City was recently featured on Restaurant Impossible and went through a menu and aesthetic overhaul, but fortunately, the breakfast went mostly unchanged. It’s another spot with great home fries that only need a dollop of ketchup.

10. Hi Life Diner
4890 Carlisle Pike, Mechanicsburg, PA
(717) 737-7700

While this breakfast guy often longs for the more unique and creative breakfast offerings of some of the bigger city haunts like Pamela’s in Pittsburgh, The Blue Moon Diner in Char0lottesville or Honey’s in Philly, the sad reality of breakfast in Harrisburg is that we simply don’t have many of those options. Sure, there are a few pretty awesome brunch spots, but those are resigned to weekends. But for 7 day a week breakfast, The Hi Life Diner rounds out this list. It’s good, they’ve got a fishtank in the foyer and the service is consistent.

This was originally posted July 8, 2010. I would have wrote a new post about the 2011 Harrisburg Jazz And Multi-Cultural Fest, but it would have been redundant. It seems the only thing that changed from last year to this year is there were fewer attendees.

It’s easy to be a “Monday Morning Quarterback” after watching any event fail. But being someone who makes his living booking, promoting and presenting nationally touring bands nearly two hundred nights per year, I feel that my opinion on the abysmal failure of the “Harrisburg Jazz and Multi-Cultural Festival” and how it could have been better is clearly both valid and warranted.

Yesterday, I had lunch with an unnamed source who was close to the inner-workings of this years festival and, combined with the information I was given from my source and the knowledge of the industry I hold, the following are my assertions on how the festival failed and how to ensure that never, ever, EVER happens again.

First and foremost-

1. Changing of The Name
Harrisburg’s American Music Fest – despite it’s lackluster calendar- was an annual event that hundreds of thousands of people from the region attended. What’s in a name? Well, simply put, the American Music Fest was called the American Music Fest because it was a pretty good choice of a pretty broad representation of music. No one can argue that the lineup for the previous years American Music Festivals weren’t varied. World, Blues, Gospel, Rock, Country, Bluegrass, Singer/Songwriters were all represented. And if that isn’t “multi-cultural” in itself, then I don’t know what is.

Additionally, I heard from several vendors, attendees and even performers that “Jazz and Multi Cultural Festival” …how do I say this…sounds pretty, um…urban? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but when factoring in the demographics of the greater 200,000 people living in a 30 mile radius, I’d want a festival to have a welcoming name. And really, what was wrong with “American Music Festival”?

What it boils down to – if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

2. Mayor Thompson either fired or lost her top fundraisers for Parks and Rec
Gloria Giambalvo and Tina King were a dynamic duo of fundraising awesomeness for the many programs held throughout the year in the city. I don’t have the exact figures, but Gloria and Tina certainly raised considerable amounts of dough for festivals like Kipona and the American Music Fest. And without them on her payroll, who was going to raise the money? Festivals like this are great exposure for corporate contributors and, while there were the usual, low-hanging-fruit like Comcast and Blue Cross, the festival lacked the long-tail funding that it has had in years past.

So, in a nutshell, you get what you pay for. $160,000 isn’t nearly enough to stage a three day, outdoor, riverfront festival designed to bring in a couple hundred thousand attendees.

3. Chuck Schulz- acting director of Parks and Rec- resigned two weeks before the festival.
Word on the street is that the Parks and Rec department whittled down from five or six people in the office to only one – Chuck – and one man simply cannot keep all the plates necessary spinning.

4. There weren’t any local bands on the bill
If you book twenty local acts on a festival like this, they’ll create buzz strong enough to garner the attention of the community. That’s how the Stage on Herr stage at Artsfest succeeded. Regardless of budget or how much (or how little) the acts were getting paid, having a couple dozen local acts playing throughout the weekend equals a couple dozen acts (of four or five people each) telling their entire mailing lists, Facebook friends, Twitter followers and word-of-mouth benefactors where they are going to be.

5. Save the preachers for the churches
I got a text message from a friend at 3:40PM on Saturday the 3rd which said “Main stage had some guy talking about God and the savior. No band. Just prerecorded backing country music. He was inviting members of the 20 people there on stage to share their love of Jesus”.

[facepalm]

Nobody wants to see that at a city-sponsored event. Period.

6. There’s nothing wrong with admitting defeat. In fact, it’s more respectable.
My sources tell me that Linda was urged on multiple occasions to just cancel the event. Save the money and the embarrassment and simply call it off. That would have been the prudent thing to do. But based on the recent departure of the final of her top-level cabinet staff, all signs point to “Linda don’t listen to nobody but Linda…and God” and that’s no way to run a city.

None of these six points contained anything other than realistic, honest-to-goodness analysis. Sure, it’s her first term in office and she’s going to make a few mistakes…but this is getting out of control. It’s time to batten down the hatches and start to admit that she has faults…or the same body who elected her will remove her from office sooner than she can yell “Praise Jesus!”

Addendum one – Read this story about the state-funded Philly Jazz festival and it’s failures.

How fucked up is it that Senator Piccola is setting a landspeed record to push through legislation enabling the state’s takeover of a third-class city and prohibiting a city from filing for bankruptcy..while at the same time, Harrisburg City Council is racing to “prepare to prepare” to file Chaper 9 Bankruptcy before the Act 47 approval deadline hits?

How fucked up is it that Team Thompson and the current city council have had about eighteen months to file for Chapter 9 and they haven’t done it yet?

The way I see this whole situation is simple: Harrisburg has enormous debt that – even on a modest payment plan- would take hundreds of years to pay off. On top of having hundreds of years worth of debt on the table, the current budget needs aren’t being met by the revenues generated by the city assets, taxes and fees. And when your debt and budget needs aren’t met by available resources, what the hell else is there to do?

FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY, HARRISBURG!

Brad, Wanda, Susan, Gloria, Patty, Kelly and the other new girl…grab your balls and DO IT.

I’d apologize about the blunt nature of this blog post, but I’M NOT SORRY!

Two of three options leave us totally, utterly and completely…redundantly….FUCKED.

1. Accept the Act 47 plan in it’s current state: lease or sell the parking garages (lose annual revenue), sell the incinerator (lose annual revenue), eliminate a number of city departments, police officers, firemen and other services in order to meet the budget and still try to pay back the debt…but WITHOUT REVENUE FROM THE ASSETS.

2. Reject the Act 47 plan in it’s current state and risk being TAKEN OVER BY THE STATE (I can’t even believe that’s an option. A state takeover!? Think about how crazy that is!!). And when the state takes over, they’re going to: lease or sell the parking garages (lose annual revenue), sell the incinerator (lose annual revenue), eliminate a number of city departments, police officers, firemen and other services in order to meet the budget and still try to pay back the debt…but WITHOUT REVENUE FROM THE ASSETS. (Sound familiar?)

And the 3rd and final option (as I see it) – Brad, Wanda, Susan, Gloria, Patty, Kelly and the other new girl can grab their collective balls and do what should have been done 18 months ago and file for Chapter 9 bankruptcy.

Just do it. Rip the band-aid off. We’ve been dancing around this for years now. How much worse can things get?? So we suffer a ding on our credit for a few years? So what! It’s the AMERICAN WAY!

Oh, but the bondholders? FUCK EM! That’s what THEY SAID when the debt was issued. SOMEONE at some point in this whole debt-accumulation process MUST HAVE said “Hey guys, you know what? These bonds don’t really seem like the most…um…ethical? things to be issuing…things might not work out well for the taxpayers of the city at some point in the not-too-distant future…maybe we should consider alternative financing options…or call the whole thing off altogether”

To which, someone likely replied “The taxpayers? FUCK EM! My kids don’t go to the city schools. Shit, we barely ever cross the Harvey Taylor Bridge. Let’s go swimming in my new pool!”

What’s that you say? The state doesn’t want the stigma of the Capital city going officially broke? FUCK EM! Where was the concern for the past two decades while this was happening? Too many of our state politicians were getting kickbacks and payoffs from the seeming ponzi scheme of deals in this city.

And the bond market? Does the bond market care about safe streets in Harrisburg? Does the bond market care what the kids of the Harrisburg school district have at their educational disposal? Does the bond market give a flying fuck whether or not the giant sinkhole at the corner of Third and Boas EVER gets repaired? Does the bond market care about whether or not Metro Bank gets off it’s ass and sends someone out to MOW THE FUCKING JUNGLE that’s grown in front of the failed Capitol View Commerce Center on Cameron Street?

I think you know the answer…

Chapter 9 is Harrisburg’s ONLY ANSWER…if we want any semblance of control of our destiny as a city…we NEED the parking garages. We NEED a better and fuller police force. And we NEED to eliminate the albatross that is the massive debt suffocating this fine little city by the river.

C’mon, council. You’re in a heated race. We voted for you because we had faith in you. Would SOMEONE please step up and do something for the residents of this promising little city?

Because either you can do it…or the suits from the Capital will.

It’s my belief that should one consider voting for Steve Ketterer for City Treasurer or George Hartwick for County Commissioner this coming Tuesday the 17th, they are simply dreaming of the past and voting for Steve Reed.

Regardless of the success or failure of our current mayor, the changing of the guard *needed* to happen.

Financially, socially and structurally, Harrisburg is in a delicate, precarious and injured state. This state would be nearly exactly what it is right now if Rudy Giuliani or Ed Koch or Richard Daley were elected mayor of Harrisburg instead of Linda Thompson.

The biggest problem with Linda, in my opinion, is her lack of communication skills, management skills and general intelligence.

There are many moving parts even in our local government that, regardless of who’s at the helm, would take YEARS to line up in order to take care of the financial quagmire we’ve been sinking in for nearly two decades.

My point is: Yes, Linda and Co. suck. But let’s not revert back to the safety of a proverbial ex-lover by voting for Reed’s top capo Steve Ketterer or “consigliere” Hartwick just because those are the names we’ve known for years. (By the way – Ketterer’s picture in the paper of him in the river is cute and all, but what does that have to do with accounting and collections in a bankrupt city?)

It’s just like sucking it up on a lonely night after breaking up with an abusive partner when you’re longing for the safety and comfort of better times. Yeah, you know her hair smells pretty and she’s probably good for a quick romp, but you’re going to feel pretty s*&tty in the morning when you take that walk of shame back out to your car.

I’m voting for Eric Papenfuse and John Campbell on Tuesday.

Because it’s time for a fresh start and a clean slate.

Earlier today, I got a parking ticket at 3rd and North Street while enjoying a tasty breakfast at Roxy’s. I normally have a roll of quarters in my car for the meters, but ran out the other day and only had one quarter left after buying a paper. Rolling the dice, I opted to take my chances with ten minutes on the meter.

Thirty-or-so minutes later, I returned to my car to find a bright green envelope stuffed under my windshield wiper.

——-

Last week, Roxbury tweeted that City Hall was now requiring residents show their identification before entering the building for any reason. He accompanied the Tweet with a photo of a uniformed Harrisburg police officer at the greeters booth (formerly used as a place for publications, flyers and community newspapers). So I was prepared to face the greeter when I entered the building.

As expected, there she was. A uniformed Harrisburg police officer sitting at the entrance booth to City Hall, stopping everyone who entered and asking each of them to “please sign in”.

I stopped. But only to question the new policy. “But I’ve been paying at least one parking ticket here per week for the last ten years, I’ve never had to sign in before”, I protested.

“Sorry, new rules. You need to sign in if you want to enter the building.”

Politely, I retorted “And what if I refuse to sign in? Does that mean I can’t enter the building?”

“There’s a payment drop box out back that you can use.”

“So I can’t come in?”

“No.”

Coupled with the recent raging against the Thompson Machine that’s been happening in the city, this seemed like the icing on the proverbial cake of the apparent paranoia displayed by our newly elected Mayor. Why would a resident need to show identification or sign a log to pay a water bill or parking ticket or get a permit for a block party?

Seems odd.

For a person to enter our State Capitol, Federal Courthouse or virtually any other government building, one must empty one’s pockets of all metallic items and pass through a metal detector in an effort to keep out guns and weapons. Guns and weapons can kill someone. This, I understand. Many known criminals enter courthouses en route to a trial date or to pay a fine. Likewise, our State Capitol houses important government employees and offices which could potentially attract an element that would wish harm on certain individuals.

I get it.

And if this is the concern at Harrisburg City Hall, then maybe it’s time to install metal detectors and a conveyor belt/x-ray system similar to those used in the state and county government buildings.

A quick Ebay search shows the cost of a walk through metal detector at about thirty eight hundred bucks. And finding an exact match on the conveyor x-ray machines used in airports and other secure locations was difficult, but I was hard pressed to find ANY x-ray machine for under fifty grand.

Add to that, a minimum of two security personnel at any given time, you’ve got a pretty hefty investment to secure a building in a bankrupt city.

—————

So is this latest scheme a poor-mans security tactic by the Mayor? Or is it that Ms. Transparency herself wants to track each and every citizen who enters the building and learn where we are going and what we’re doing there?

The latter seems plausible.

Because without being required to show identification, I could have signed in as Mickey Mouse. Or Dirk Diggler. Or Chuck U. Farley. Or any name, for that matter. Further, I could have just signed in with this fictitious name, went to pay my parking ticket and went on with my day.

But this is a matter of principle, my friends. The principle of being asked my business when I walk into a public building is an intrusion of privacy. And I’m no lawyer, but it seems like a violation of my civil rights.

Don’t we have the right to enter our government headquarters without being forced to declare our reason for visiting? I was merely trying to give the city money, after all. Wouldn’t they have record of my being there once they processed payment of the fourteen dollars attached to license plate “STEADY” for the ticket issued at about 9:45 this morning? Why waste the manpower of the extra step?

And the worst part of this? The officer couldn’t even give me a straight reason for the new policy. “Just doing my job, sir.”

I asked. I asked why this is happening, whose order it was and how long this has been in place. The only answer I was given was that this began last Monday.

“They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty or safety” Benjamin Franklin (1759)