Jersey Mike

Flabbergasted.

Flummoxed.

Absolutely STUNNED, I am, to see the photo that adorned the front page of PennLive tonight.

Are State Workers SO broke and SO poor and SO disadvantaged that nearly five hundred of them needed to take advantage of the Central Pennsylvania Food Bank’s offer to provide boxes of food after only one missed paycheck?

Those folks look pretty well dressed to be seeking that sort of assistance. I wonder if any of them cut back their cable package? Internet? Cell phone?

Lemme tell ya…as a self-employed individual who consistently hovers right around the poverty line AND has mouths to feed, I’ve NEVER been so broke and had my cubbards become SO bare that I’ve needed to get free groceries from a Food Bank.

Could State Workers, with their modest salaries, generous sick-days and vacation time and full health insurance be SO fragile and unprepared for the worst that with a single missed paycheck they find themselves in a G-D BREADLINE?

Is this 1930’s America?

State Workers: here’s a little tip sheet – from me to you- on how to survive on limited income for an extended period of time.

1. Shop at Weis instead of Giant. (And definitely DON’T go to Wegmans)
Weis is usually a bit cheaper than the cushy, bright and brand-new Giant stores.

2. Clip Coupons.
Seriously. Mom used to do it and would get a HUGE cart full of goodness for a family of six for less than a hundred bucks. (Sometimes, it’s the only reason I buy the Sunday paper)

3. Eat less, fattie.
Do you normally have three eggs for breakfast? Eat two. Get a gallon of Haagen Daas to keep in the freezer? Skip it. Absolutely HAVE to have Diet Pepsi? Switch to whatever is onsale for a buck a bottle.

4. Buy generic.
It’s the exact same shit. Really. There’s no difference between Weis brand Fruity O’s and Fruit Loops. ZERO difference between Weis brand OJ and Tropicana.

5. Two words: Ramen Noodles.
Act like you’re back in college. The kids won’t mind.

6. Shop midweek.
This isn’t scientific, by any means, but I’ve always found that the discounts are more prevalent on a Tuesday than they are on a Saturday (when EVERYONE else goes shopping).

7. Skip the sweets, tubby.
Frill-filled items are luxuries. I know you think you might not make it through the day without that Pepperidge Farms Seven Layer Cake, but in trying times, you should at least try.

8. If you smoke, smoke generic.
It might take some getting used to, but a USA Gold is essentially the same thing as a Camel Light.

9. Bring lunch to work.
Don’t go out to eat. Pack a PB&J, an apple and a bottle of water.

10. And finally, LEARN TO LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS.