Jersey Mike

Here are a couple of items I’ve been stewing about for quite some time but have chose not to write extensively about until my battle with The City over the Amusement Tax comes to an amicable conclusion. Think of this post as a teaser of things to come from that loudmouth from Jersey. (Who often goes “where he doesn’t need to go”, according to one local official)

DAUPHIN COUNTY DOMESTIC RELATIONS

In my personal, extensive, exhaustive experience, Dauphin County Domestic Relations (DCDR) has been the most absolutely demeaning, degrading, biased, racist, bigoted, unfair “public” service office I have EVER, EVER, EVER had to deal with.

I’d rather spend a week-straight waiting in line at a combination of PennDot, Traffic Court and The Dentist than spend a single minute within the 70′s decorated walls of the Dauphin County Domestic Relations office.

And I say this as a single Dad who’s always paid my child support on time- regardless of what DCDR has to say.

You see, I have a MAJOR problem with being generalized as a human being.

And there is no other “public” office that does a better job at generalizing people than DCDR.

I’ve been to the hearings. I’ve dealt with the “officers” (if you can call them that). I’ve sat in the stinky, filthy, dirty, closed-circuit camera policed waiting room, biting my nails just hoping that I get to see an officer that has an ounce of humility and compassion.

But we never do.

And this battle, friends, isn’t about me getting the short end of the stick.

This is different than getting a parking ticket or getting towed or getting raped taxed for entertaining the public.

No, friends. This particular battle is about what is right and what is just and what is fair. 

And in my experience, The Dauphin County Domestic Relations system does not treat men fairly. 

And we’ll explore that further in the months to come…

THE NEXT MAYORAL ELECTION 

It’s a big one, kids.

(And come to think of it, I’m sure I’ll be writing about this one before the Amusement Tax is reformed)

Let’s be real for a second here.

There is no justifiable reason for any elected official to be in office for more than two consecutive terms.

Maybe it’s “fear of the unknown” or “fear of change” or just downright voter apathy that’s kept this guy in office for as long as he’s been.

But the time has come for a changing of the guard in Harrisburg.

And I’m not going to sit here and get into a pissing match with filthyman or hbgtruth or steven119 about the merits of a man who has sat in a smoky office for twenty five years spending our tax dollars on Annie Oakley’s gun and a Vampire Hunting kit while crack is being sold by twelve year olds at the corner of Green and Muench.

We can rename all of the neighborhoods we’d like- but the fact remains: we’re due for a new Mayor.

I’d hate to say it like this, but at this point- it’s Anyone But Reed. 

The Primary is creeping up quick. And don’t be fooled by all of the “news” lately.

Oh, do you think it’s a coincidence that we’re hearing about our streets finally being repaved? Or that there’s this miraculous new two-hundred-plus-million dollar deal to whore out lease our parking garages to a NYC investment firm?

Pay attention, Harrisburg. It’s gonna be a long, hot summer.

Remember my old Red Saab that got hit, towed and held ransom by Don’s Towing last January?
Here’s something of an update; file this under “One Man’s Garbage Is Another Man’s Gold”-

With all of the body damage and starting issues, coupled with the fact that she had well over two hundred thousand miles on it, I had it on Craigslist for five hundred bucks.

Got a few calls immediately and one of the first people to check it out was a guy named Ben and his wife Chrissy. They told me this grandiose story about a somewhat-underground race which participants main rule is that the vehicle they use in the race cannot cost more than two hundred fifty dollars.

The race runs from New York City to New Orleans over five days of Memorial Day weekend- and because of the start and end points, the trip is known as the Babe Rally- Babe meaning Big Apple to the Big Easy.

Part wanting to just be done with the Saab and part happy knowing that at least my dear car would have a somewhat-glorious and fun filled afterlife, I agreed to their offering price of two hundred fifty dollars.

The only caveat in the deal, however, was that they must keep me updated on the trip and if my favorite little red sun faded orange car wins the Babe Rally this year.

Yesterday afternoon, I got a text from Ben: “www.teambornfromjets.com is our site for the rally. Car is doing great so far, on our way south from new york on day 1″

After typing in the URL, I nearly hit the floor when I saw what my beat up little red Saab had morphed into:

And so it goes. My car- which had become a parking ticket attracting hit-and-run magnet over the course of two and a half years gets a new lease on life- because of four young, eager and fun loving kids who decided to enter what looks like a pretty fun race.

Check out a slideshow of the BabeRally here

Watch Ben and Chrissy’s site for their trip updates here

And this is the official BabeRally website here

After a tough decision and something of a closing of a chapter of my life last week, I decided it was as good a time as any to take a little trip away from Harrisburg to clear my head and recharge my batteries…along with my outlook and attitude about where exactly I am at this point in life…and with the hopes that when I return sometime later this week, things will look a little different.

They always do, right?

I’ve lived in Harrisburg for seven years now.

Which is just about five and a half years longer than the longest amount of time I spent in any one city prior to my landing in the Midstate.

But due to the way the cards landed, I found myself firmly planted in Central Pennsylvania- like it or not..seemingly til’ death do us part.

Every so often, I like to pack a bag, pick a direction and venture out for a few days.

And this time, my trip is going like this: Saturday in Jersey overnight for Mothers Day with the fam- which consisted of eating the weight of a horse in pasta, napping and eating again.

The plan was to spend today tripping around New York City- which would have been nice had the rain and wind not arrived last night.

So for now, I’m just hangin’ out at my folks. Think I’m gonna drive my kid sister to work later today and maybe get some dinner with old friends tonight-

But tomorrow morning is where the real fun begins- I get back on an Amtrack at around 8AM bound for Providence, Rhode Island- get in around noon and spend the day hanging around that city- and venturing about thirty miles south to a town called Narragansett to catch Toubab Krewe at a place called The Wheelhouse Tavern. 

It’s one of those bare-bones sort of trips. I’ve got everything I need and a completely open schedule for the next ninety six hours or so.

Backpack with my laptop, couple clean tee shirts, socks and drawers, a hoodie, my iPod, cell phone, a few packs of smokes and a couple hundred bucks.

And the best part- I’m doing this whole jaunt via public transportation.

Amtrack from Harrisburg to Newark, then Newark to Providence and back to Harrisburg is a paltry hundred and fifty five bucks.

So in addition to not shelling out almost four bucks a gallon on a trip that would easily require three fill ups, I get to kick back with my thoughts and my music- on a refreshing journey which I rarely get to take.

So, updates will be sparse this week. I’ve been Tweeting much of my journey thus far- and will probably continue to do so.

Here’s reason number seventy eight why Nonna’s is one of my favorite Harrisburg businesses-

This message is two-fold: not only are they contemplating a delivery service, but they’re also asking their patrons what they want.

And they continue to deliver…(pun intended)

From Nonna’s weekly emailer:

Great days folks..We are contemplating making what we think would be a positive change to Nonna’s operations.  We need your input on the possibility of starting a LUNCHTIME DELIVERY SERVICE to local companies.  There are prelimanary plans already drawn up, yet we would like your opinions.  Please give us feedback on the following:

1.  Time of day  you feel you would request a delivery?

2.  Your location?

3.  Your opinion on a delivery charge?

4.  Would you patronize Nonna’s more frequently with the availability of this service?

5.  Would you pay the driver with cash or check, or prepay via credit card?

6.  Any other opinions would be appreciated!

We thank you for your input

We have suspended the sale of soup for the Spring and Summer Seasons

Monday:  Pasta ala olio with Sundried Tomato and Licini sausage

Tuesday:  Spinach and Mozzarella ravioli with your choice of Pink or Alfredo Sauce.  Our pink sauce is a spicy version of a combo of marinara and alfredo sauce.

Wednesday:  Eggplant Rolitini with Pasta

Thursday:  Meat Lasagna

Friday:  Baked Ziti

Have a great week!

Okay, here it is.

For those of you who haven’t heard it yet- this is the thing you’ve been hearing about.

Paul Anka.

(Yeah, that Paul Anka…Paul Anka to my Grandmother is Justin Timberlake to my sixteen year old sister)

Paul Anka is still around, playing the Casino’s and fairgrounds of middle America.

In fact, he’s doing a tour of the South Jersey circuit before heading off to Mexico City.

(He’s sorta like the Sinatra-that-really-wasn’t.)

So Paul Anka’s got all these songs- all these song’s that were kinda good- but they were definitely post-Sinatra.

They were SO post-Sinatra, in fact, that I’d bet you a Zoigl that you couldn’t name a single Paul Anka song quicker than you could name one from Sinatra.

Go ahead…right now- tell me one memorable Paul Anka song before you can think of one memorble Sinatra jam?

(After asking Google while writing this post, I found that Paul Anka, that douchebag that should have retired years ago, even sank as low as to record a predictably-lame version of Van Halen’s “Jump”.)

So here we are- April 19, 2008- and Paul fuckin’ Anka is still on tour.

Playing the Casino and Fairground circuit.

Compared, on a daily basis, to The Chairman of The Board.

And one night, he freaks out on his tour crew.

“That’s just the fuckin’ way it is”

http://noisetank.com/integrity/

Have fun with that- and remember- “The guys get SHIRTS”