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Worst. Law. Ever.

October 5th, 2008 Jersey 4 comments

Look, we’ve all had this discussion before. For years, really. And I still say the same thing.

Smoking cigarettes is bad for you.

And the toxic second hand smoke which exits a smokers lips and fills the air of wherever he or she is smoking is nearly just as bad for the people whom are subjected to breathing in that toxic smoke.

Not only is it toxic smoke, but whatever germs and heebey geebies are inside that persons lungs and bloodstream are fogged out into the room for all to enjoy.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a smoke or two a day. The rest of them, however, are merely out of habit. And I just KNOW that I have to quit. (My Grandmother tells me all the time. Thank Jeebus she doesn’t know what the internet is otherwise, she’d absolutely FREAK after reading these past three paragrapsh.)

When the news of the Pennsylvania Smoking Ban first came about, I have to say that I was mighty optimistic. Having been in other states when the law went into effect, I knew that as soon as we caught on here in Pennsylvania, that it would certainly be a step in the right direction.

But we’re now three full weeks into the new smoking ban, and here in Harrisburg, not much at all has changed.

There are a handful of restaurants and bars who have been in compliance with the new law. (ABC being one of the few that have fully embraced the new smoking rules) But walking down Second Street, one would hardly know that there was a new law recently passed prohibiting smoking inside places of employment. (The majority of culprits being bars and restaraunts- where the majority of public indoor smoking takes place)

Don’t let the title of this post mislead you- I’m in full support of the smoking ban. But the way that the incarnation of this legislation reads is an absolute joke.

How many millions of tax dollars and hundreds of hours of labor were spent inside the Capitol drafting and tweaking this law?

Many, I’d guess. And the way that it reads right now is an absolute joke. Were they just trying to appease some people while keeping others happy at the same time?

Why, yes..yes they were.

And unfortunately in government and the passing of legislation, the old adage “you can please some people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time” comes to mind.

If the lawmakers of this commonwealth had any balls at all, they would have made the smoking law crystal fucking clear by making it plain and simple- if you are in a place of public enjoyment- a place where anyone may enter and patronize, then there is simply no smoking allowed.

But by exempting places like private clubs, a percentage of the casino floors, businesses which only serve beer and liquor or a place whose annual gross reciepts contain less than twenty percent in food sales- it leaves FAR too many loopholes for FAR too many businesses to skirt the law.

New Jersey passed their smoking law about two or three years ago. Any business may not allow smoking.

Doesn’t matter if they sell strictly Budweiser beer and peanuts- it’s the law. No smoking allowed.

Meanwhile, back here in good ole Pennsylvania- we’ve drafted some amazingly bullshit legislation that has more holes in it than a State of The City speech by Mayor Reed.

Look, call me kooky- but there are a few businesses in Harrisburg that are embracing the new rules. But seriously, for the good of all of us- I really wish we’d see full compliance on this.

Let’s go to the video tape!

September 29th, 2008 Jersey 4 comments

I don’t normally write about national politics. I figure there’s plenty of coverage out there. But this video is simply too good not to share.

(In case you weren’t sure, I am an Obama supporter and will not be voting for McCain/Palin this November.)

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Is “Quinto” Spanish for “Penis”?

September 25th, 2008 Jersey 3 comments

Because if the new mascots for the Pennsylvania Lottery’s newest game- the Quinto Quintet- are any indicator, I’d assume that yes, quinto is, indeed, some sort of translation for penis.

Look at this picture and tell me if they don’t all look like a bunch of dancing penises? (Is that the plural for penis? Would it be peni?)

Theyre supposed to be fingers...but you tell me what you think they look like.

Look, either way, they look like a bunch of dancing dicks. And I don’t mean that in a “look at those dicks dancing at the club” kind of way- I’m being literal.

I’ve never been a fan of Lotteries and Scratch Offs and random games of chance which are pushed like crack on unsuspecting Pennsylvania residents (I know, I know…I even know a few people in Jersey who are ridiculously hooked on scratch-offs. I bust chops all the time but each time they win fifty bucks (after spending a hundred) they feel the need to rub it in my face that they finally “won”). But this translates well from state to state.)

I wonder if this is possibly some kind of big inside joke inside the marketing department at the Pennsylvania Lottery. Do you think that, maybe, the head of marketing is a real jerk and their underlings don’t like them very much. And when the head of marketing pitched the Dancing Peni in the meeting that everyone beneath him or her sort of chuckled and said “Brilliant! You’ve done it again!”?

And here they are. The Quinto Dancing Penises.

Way to go, PA Lottery. You sure did top the Groundhog with this one.

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Oh, you’re out of donuts? AND coffee cups? AND bagels?

September 17th, 2008 Jersey 10 comments

I’ve had this gripe on my mind for quite some time, but today I decided to finally put this out there.

The Dunkin Donuts – located at 107 N 2nd Street in Harrisburg- is the worst Dunkin Donuts in the area in the state in the country in the universe.

In the following paragraphs, I will demonstrate- citing examples and first-hand incidents- why the Dunkin Donuts on 2nd Street in Harrisburg is the worst Dunkin Donuts in the Universe.

Earlier today (about fifteen minutes ago, actually) I stopped at the DD on 2nd for my usual “medium hazelnut with cream and sugar”. As usual, there were a couple of customers carrying on boisterously with the seemingly fresh-outta-the-halfway-house staff behind the counter.

I stood patiently. At the counter. Obviously the next person to be waited on.

The employee today finally decided I was worthy of requesting the purchase of my aforementioned coffee. When he dawdled back to the counter, he was holding a Dunkin Donuts cappucino cup- and not the standard white styrofoam cups.

“Didja run out of coffee cups” I inquired.

“Yeah. We’s outta everything. Ain’t even got no more small lids”. He replied.

Dunkin Donuts ran out of coffee cups today.

Dunkin Donuts.

Ran out of.

Coffee cups. Today.

Oh, but that’s not all. That’s just today.

A couple of months back, I went in for my usual- medium hazelnut with cream and sugar- and, not unlike today, there were a few seemingly regulars yapping away with the staff. I ordered my coffee from the short girl with more visible ink than I had and I waited patiently for my java.

Listening to the music piped in, I concentrated- thinking to myself “hmm, this sounds sort of edgy to be playing in a Dunkin Donuts”. And it was.

The lyrics of the song playing over the system inside the Dunkin Donuts was riddled wtih F Bombs, the B word, the S word and even a see you next tuesday was crooned over the hip hop beat.

My coffee arrived from the ink-experiment and I axed her- “So, uh- is that an iPod playing”

“yeah, it is” she smugly replied.

The Dunkin Donuts on 2nd Street blasts profanity-laden music in the store.

(Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got no problem with profanity. I’m actually a big fan. But there’s a time and a place for profanity to be used. And inside the Dunkin Donuts on 2nd Street in Harrisburg is not one of those times or places)

[I could go on and on and on here. Because- even though I think that the Dunkin Donuts on 2nd Street is probably one of the more poorly presented locations of the chain, I continue to patronize the place because I really do like Dunkin Donuts coffee. But I'll punctuate this with one more anecdote...]

About three weeks ago, I was up and out the door relatively early. I parked the Saab in front of the store, walked in and found three or four people ahead of me.

My turn at the counter arrived and I ordered a sausage, egg and cheese on a croissant with a medium hazelnut, cream and sugar.

“We outta croissants”

“Um, okay. Uh…how bout on a plain bagel?”

“We outta plain bagels”

Puzzled look from me. Still groggy and not quite able to fathom how a DUnkin Donuts could be out of both crossaints AND plain bagels at nine in the morning on a Wednesday.

“Well, okay- lemme just have the coffee and two Boston Creme donuts”

“We outta Boston Creme”

At this point, my eyes had focused on the barren racks behind the counter that should have contained hundreds of donuts, bagels, croissants and munchkins.

But the racks were practically empty.

At nine in the morning on a Wednesday.

Conclusion:

Look, I understand that occasionally a business will temporarily run out of my favorite product. And I understand that occasionally the staff of a store might have an “off” day and run in virtual slow-mo. And I can empathize with the fact that, perhaps I’ve gotten spoiled by having a styrofoam cup to protect my digits from being scalded by the temperature of the world-reknowned hottest coffee. And hell, when the employees are closing up shop for the day and are mopping the floors and cleaing the toilets, sure…go ahead and put the iPod on. But not while there are customers in the store.

It’s clearly evident that whoever is in charge of the Dunkin Donuts on 2nd Street either doesn’t care about their location or they just really can’t find good help to staff the place.

Either way, the Dunkin Donuts on 2nd Street in Harrisburg gets a big, fat, red “NEEDS IMPROVEMENT” on the ole report card.

City Council just got a bit more accessible

December 1st, 2006 Jersey Comments off

With thanks to Tattoo Jim and Fathom Design Group, there is now a presence on the Web for all things Harrisburg City Council.

Located at http://harrisburgcitycouncil.com (easy enough, right?), the site administrators plan to provide accurate, pertinent and unbiased information regarding pending legislation, council member bios and blogs, a sign up for e-mail alerts, press releases, and more.

Additionally, site visitors are able to directly email members of Council from the site.

And Harrisburg’s New Media strikes again.

Go participate.  

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