It doesn’t take a doctor to diagnose the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania’s recent bout with Metathesiophobia.

Oh, do you know what Metathesiophobia is?

Metathesiophobia is the fear of change.

We see it all the time around here. Why else do you think Steve Reed’s been in office for three-terms-too-many?
Metathesiophobia, of course.

Why do you think we can only purchase beer at a beer store and liquor at a liquor store? Metathesiophobia, of course.

Why do we not have a light-rail commuter service handling transportation in a two hundred mile radius? Metathesiophobia.

And why are there so many panties in so many bunches because smokers can’t smoke in bars any more?

Say it with me: Metathesiophobia!

Defined as “a persistent, abnormal, and unwarranted fear of changes”, each year this surprisingly common phobia causes countless people needless distress.

What are people so deathly afraid of? Not getting cancer from second hand smoke?

No, probably not. Considering most non-smokers I’ve interacted with are gleeful and practically mass-peeing themselves since the Clean Air Act took effect last Thursday here in Pennsylvania.

Then what are smokers afraid of? Not being able to contribute to the decreased health and quality of life of their non-smoking counterparts?

Apparently.

I smoke. About a pack a day. Of Camel Lights.

But when news of the smoking ban first hit, I, too, was excited. As someone who earns a living in the fringes of the bar industry, I welcome the fact that, while at an event three or four nights per week which takes place in a bar, I’ll no longer be able to habitually light cigarette after cigarette whenever I feel like I need something else to do with my hands while I’m working the bar.

There’s been a lot of talk about how “if the government can get away with taking THIS away from us, what will they do NEXT?” and “it’s my RIGHT to smoke wherever I choose to”.

Well how about this concept: that same government who is apparently raping freedoms like soldiers in warring countries by not allowing smokers to light up in public places like bars and restaurants is the same government who have acknowledged countless times how harmful cigarette smoking and second hand smoke can be for smokers and non-smokers alike.

AND, the hundreds of billions of dollars per year which are generated from retail and tax revenues for tobacco companies and the government, respectively, go to fund projects that make disallowing smoking in public places look like a “no running in the hallway” rule in comparison.

Talk about taking freedoms away?

Look, I’m a smoker. And I (mostly) enjoy it. But if a rule is going to be put into effect that will inherently decrease the amount of time that I abuse my body and the lungs of those around me, I’m going to embrace it.

Some bar owners are even worse than the public- brandishing the exception-to-the-rule loophole by filing for the permit to allow the bar to continue to offer a smoking section if their food sales equal less than twenty percent of their annual gross sales. (Bars and restaurants are allowed to continue offering a smoking section while the application gets processed. My source tells me that nearly a thousand exception-permits have been filed and will take MONTHS to process.)

Of course, if the shoe was on the other foot- if bars and restaurants were all non-smoking establishments to begin with and then a legislator introduced a bill which would permit establishments to allow or encourage smoking in their businesses the outcry from the non-smoking contingent would be MASSIVE.

It’s really just astounding to me, personally, that so many Pennsylvanians are up-in-arms over this smoking ban and are being incredibly undermining of the law by continuing to allow smoking in places that were certainly supposed to go smoke-free this past Thursday.

From what I hear, smoking is still allowed in virtually every bar on Second Street in Harrisburg. Which is a huge slap in the face to the people who are working to merely improve the overall quality of their experience in a bar or restaurant.

Certainly, other states have finally embraced the clean air in their workplaces- but surely not after kicking and screaming during the initial changeover.

Hopefully, this mass-freak-out will calm down soon and we can focus on the important issues again.

In the meantime, go outside and have a smoke. Either that, or stay home and smoke all you’d like.