Jersey Mike

Has it been a month already?

It’s that time again-

The third (official) monthly Harrisburg Area Blogger/Twitterers Meetup- this Thursday July 17 from 7-9PM- this time we’re meeting on the deck at The Abbey Bar at Appalachian Brewing Company.

(We’re meeting on the deck because Harrisburg Young Professional Kickballers invade The Abbey post-kickball matches for the next seven weeks)

SO- Harrisburg Young Professionals who are also local bloggers AND play kickball in the summer league have no excuse for not stopping by this action-packed gathering of your favorite local blogo-heros.

Join the likes of By Daniel Victor, Dave from Floor-9 and BlogHarrisburg, Mike with HarrisburgNightlife, Bill from the Linglestown Gazette, Shawn Farner, John from Capital Ideas and yours truly for a couple hours of progressive thoughts and ideas, our version of Cheers and Jeers while chilling with your peers over discounted beers (three bucks from 8-10PM).

(Rumor has it that Sara Bozich and D. Editor of the Central PA Gazelle are really the same person- (either that or they’re dating) which explains why both have yet to make an appearance.)
The BlogHarrisburg/Harrisburg Tweetups have been gaining momentum since the offical launch nearly four months ago.

The first Tweetup saw about a half dozen bloggers. The following meeting more than doubled and last months shindig saw nearly twenty different URL holders waxing philosophic at ABC.

So, to summarize-

WHAT: Harrisburg Bloggers/Twitterers meetup (we say ‘bloggers’, but really, EVERYONE is welcome)

WHERE: The Abbey Bar at Appalachian Brewing Company in Harrisburg (This month is on the deck)
WHEN: 7-9PM

WHY: Because we should.

Here are a couple of items I’ve been stewing about for quite some time but have chose not to write extensively about until my battle with The City over the Amusement Tax comes to an amicable conclusion. Think of this post as a teaser of things to come from that loudmouth from Jersey. (Who often goes “where he doesn’t need to go”, according to one local official)

DAUPHIN COUNTY DOMESTIC RELATIONS

In my personal, extensive, exhaustive experience, Dauphin County Domestic Relations (DCDR) has been the most absolutely demeaning, degrading, biased, racist, bigoted, unfair “public” service office I have EVER, EVER, EVER had to deal with.

I’d rather spend a week-straight waiting in line at a combination of PennDot, Traffic Court and The Dentist than spend a single minute within the 70’s decorated walls of the Dauphin County Domestic Relations office.

And I say this as a single Dad who’s always paid my child support on time- regardless of what DCDR has to say.

You see, I have a MAJOR problem with being generalized as a human being.

And there is no other “public” office that does a better job at generalizing people than DCDR.

I’ve been to the hearings. I’ve dealt with the “officers” (if you can call them that). I’ve sat in the stinky, filthy, dirty, closed-circuit camera policed waiting room, biting my nails just hoping that I get to see an officer that has an ounce of humility and compassion.

But we never do.

And this battle, friends, isn’t about me getting the short end of the stick.

This is different than getting a parking ticket or getting towed or getting raped taxed for entertaining the public.

No, friends. This particular battle is about what is right and what is just and what is fair. 

And in my experience, The Dauphin County Domestic Relations system does not treat men fairly. 

And we’ll explore that further in the months to come…

THE NEXT MAYORAL ELECTION 

It’s a big one, kids.

(And come to think of it, I’m sure I’ll be writing about this one before the Amusement Tax is reformed)

Let’s be real for a second here.

There is no justifiable reason for any elected official to be in office for more than two consecutive terms.

Maybe it’s “fear of the unknown” or “fear of change” or just downright voter apathy that’s kept this guy in office for as long as he’s been.

But the time has come for a changing of the guard in Harrisburg.

And I’m not going to sit here and get into a pissing match with filthyman or hbgtruth or steven119 about the merits of a man who has sat in a smoky office for twenty five years spending our tax dollars on Annie Oakley’s gun and a Vampire Hunting kit while crack is being sold by twelve year olds at the corner of Green and Muench.

We can rename all of the neighborhoods we’d like- but the fact remains: we’re due for a new Mayor.

I’d hate to say it like this, but at this point- it’s Anyone But Reed. 

The Primary is creeping up quick. And don’t be fooled by all of the “news” lately.

Oh, do you think it’s a coincidence that we’re hearing about our streets finally being repaved? Or that there’s this miraculous new two-hundred-plus-million dollar deal to whore out lease our parking garages to a NYC investment firm?

Pay attention, Harrisburg. It’s gonna be a long, hot summer.

Having spent my first couple of years living in Central PA with a large chip on my shoulder, I never did make the pilgrimage to the annual Farm Show each January.

I guess I missed the eighty-sixth through the ninety-first.

But zooo-WEEE is the ninety second a doozy!

For YEARS, I ignored the siren-like beckons of “the food is AMAZING” and “yinz haven’t been to the FARM SHOW!?”

The responses I’d get proceeding my informing people that I hadn’t ever been to a Farm Show could be likened to my reaction to someone telling me that they have not seen the movie “Garden State”.

But now, I guess I can say my legacy of being a Central Pennsylvania resident is complete.

I, my friends, have just returned from my first visit to the Ninety Second Annual Pennsylvania Farm Show.

And boy oh BOY did it live up to the hype.

I cannot think of a better way to spend my Sunday afternoon than trudging through throngs of families as we slosh through the gobs and gobs of pig pee and cow dung…but the cows and pigs are so darn cute that I could barely complain about the smell.

And oh, the smell- how convenient is it, after inhaling a rib-wich, fried cheese balls on a stick, a baked potato, a bag of nuts, a fresh chocolate milkshake and a handful of samplings of turkey jerkey, venison sausage and bison meat, to browse through aisle after aisle of every imaginable breed and species of swine and bovine…while adding ones OWN scent to the already-tasty aromatic atmosphere?

And for the romantic at heart- have a gander at these- first, it’s a pair of pigs spooning.

But wait, it gets better-

What’s better than two spooning pigs?

Well shucks, how about a FARMER spooning with a pig!

Ah yes, the two thousand and eight Pennsylvania Farm Show.

What have I been missing all these years?

But in all seriousness, if you don’t mind wading through farm animal feces and thousands upon thousands of wide-eyed Pennsylvanians, take a trip to the Farm Show. It’s a fun day, the food really is delectable and unique and, best of all, you may get to see this guy- the loudest damn pig I’ve ever, ever heard.

[kml_flashembed movie="http://www.youtube.com/v/rZH-e1Uv2LE" width="425" height="350" wmode="transparent" /]

Well, not really.

My friend Erin was up in Marysville and saw a sign outside of a farm that said “Free Kittens” – so she grabbed this one-

Kaiya’s psyched-

Okay, enough about pussycats…we’ll get back to local politics soon…

‘Cause there’s TONS of good stuff happening…

Almost every Sunday, I go to one of my couple-friends George and LeAnne’s to watch The Soprano’s.

You see, they’re both From Jersey- and mock us all you will, but, people from Jersey who’ve transplanted to other states seem to gravitate towards one another- so it’s become sort of a “thing”- since last season, anyway- for us to get together to do this and I enjoy it immensely. It’s the closest thing I’ve got to Sunday Dinner at Gram’s growing up-

Most weeks, we make an event out of it. We cook some sort of Italian meal and cap it off with Éclairs, Cheesecake or some Pepperidge Farm combination of the two.

And then LeAnne goes and dims the lights- we all turn off our cell phones and settle in to their big comfy couches and get immersed in the wide screen TV they’ve got for about fifty minutes- followed by smokes on the deck to discuss the episode.

I usually get there around seven thirty to hang out, catch up, shoot the shit and- of course- eat. (I’m single…which means I usually eat one good meal per week…Sunday Dinner)

They’ve got the super-dope-diggity high definition TV and the full Comcast cable package- (not that I approve of that- but hey, we all need our Sopranos)

So I got there tonight- right on schedule- and we were hanging out, catching up- with the TV on in the background.

“America’s Funniest Home Videos” was on- and while I usually enjoy a chuckle or two at the expense of others, what I saw tonight made me really stop and think how utterly disturbing and twisted Disney really is-

You see, Disney owns ABC Broadcasting.(amongst many other culturally influential things)

If you’ve been living under a rock and are unfamiliar with what the program is about, allow me to explain the premise to you-

The program features short videos shot on home camcorders, cell phones and the like of people in embarrassing and uncomfortable situations- the wedding party falls over each other during the Chicken Dance or while catching the bouquet; father and son playing baseball and son beans Dad in the nuts with the bat or ball; the family cat falls asleep on top of the warm TV and falls off- you get the picture.

Tonights episode featured what may have well been the beginning of the chain of events leading to a Virginia Tech massacre in the future –(oh, I’m sorry- is it TOO SOON?)

There was a video of a kid- no more than six or seven years old- who was being scolded by his father.

The back story of the clip obviously wasn’t shown, but the gist of it led us to believe that something the kid did (on a Sunday afternoon) led the kid’s parents to reprimand him.

His punishment? Not being allowed to watch America’s Funniest Home Videos.

The video showed the seven year old kid in tears- snorting and gasping for air- shortly after being punished.

Behind the camera was the kid’s dad- asking him why he was upset-

“be..be..be (snort) because I was baaad”

“And what happens when you’re bad?” The dad coaxed him along-

“I…I…I just can’t SAY … (snort) it” whimpered the poor kid..no more than seven years old.

“Why can’t you say it? What happens when you did what you did?” The father pushed…
“I…(more snorting and tears visibly running down his face) I just … I can’t … I can’t SAAAAYYYY (snort) ITTT”.

Now sobbing uncontrollably.

(Dad) “What’s the matter? What can’t you do?”

“I…I…I can’t watch America’s Funniest Home Videos!”

AUDIENCE ERUPTS IN LAUGHTER.

What?!?!

This!

From the same company that delivered Bambi, Snow White and The Little Mermaid?!

Most times, winding up on TV is a high point of some people’s lives.

Get quoted on the news, maybe saved a cat from a burning tree, caught a foul ball at the baseball game-

But a seven year old kid- after being scolded for doing something wrong and in the most raw and vulnerable state- being VIDEOTAPED by his scolder- and then SADISTICALLY shown on NATIONAL TELEVISION!?

That kid, the poor thing, will be RIDICULED and MADE FUN OF Monday morning in Homeroom.

Guaranteed.

And that’s gonna scar the kid for LIFE!

Imagine being seven years old and doing something to garner being punished. And then being sent to your room–sobbing like a…like a SEVEN YEAR OLD KID.

And THEN! Imagine your parents VIDEOTAPING the whole thing and broadcasting it to the NATION!

I tell ya, man– people wonder why some kids grow up and wind up completely SNAPPING on their classmates-

This is one of those times that makes sense.

Good job, Disney. Keep up the great work.

Family programming?

Yeah, that sounds about right.