Archive for July 30, 2009

Things I Do (Or Have Done) For A Couple Hundred Bucks

I often get asked “What, exactly, do you do, Jersey Mike?”

This past Tuesday, I worked the load in and load out of WWE Smackdown with IATSE Local 19 in Baltimore. The gig was at the 1st Mariner Arena and was an 8AM call. That meant our crew had to leave the carpool spot at around 6AM to beat the traffic. The load in went an abnormally long time (the full eight hours) which meant the drive back to Harrisburg was more tedious than necessary- what with the rush hour traffic and all. The load-out was a 10:30PM call, which meant leaving Harrisburg again at 8:30 to be back on time. At the end of the day, I got into bed at around 3:30AM.

And my compensation? A couple hundred bucks.

Wednesday morning, I woke up, made a pot of coffee, checked my Facebook, Twitter and blog stats and scrambled some eggs. After the dishes, I sat down and finalized my September calendar at The Abbey Bar. I sent out a few offers for some tasty shows, bugged some agencies for some unattainable shows that I know I have to be patient on and started working on a calendar for another venue I picked up. At some point in the day, I got a phone call from a guy in a band who’s band mate had a tiff with me earlier in the week. We smoothed it out.

That’ll yield me a couple hundred bucks for the week.

Next week, I’ve got two independent sound gigs booked. I don’t even know who the bands are, but I’ll mix em well. They’re for a banquet or a reunion…I’m not sure. That’ll find me around a hundred and fifty bucks richer.

Over the years, I’ve had more one-off-type gigs than most people will do in a lifetime. Although not all of them have made me a fortune (clearly), I’m fairly sure I’ve been socking away some education that’s not found in a textbook or a classroom.

For example: three winters ago, three friends and I decided it would be a great idea to sell Christmas Trees on a vacant lot on Front Street. “West Virginia Trees, dude! They’re the best!” I told my partners. Sure, the trees were gorgeous…but in the end, we were overpriced for the neighborhood. It seems there’s a large market for twenty dollar trees in the city of Harrisburg…but not many residents were keen on dropping fifty bucks or more for a nice, seven foot Scotch Pine. (We took about a hundred leftovers to the incinerator)

Three summers ago, a friend and I spent thirteen days at the end of June in an Exxon parking lot in Grantville selling TNT fireworks leading up to the Fourth of July. Although we were there for upwards of eighteen hours a day, we walked with about thirty five hundred apiece at the end of the run.

I was an Ice Cream Man for all of forty eight hours in the summer of 2007. That might have worked out better had I not gotten the ice cream truck towed from outside the The Brewery.

Hot Dogs, Ice Cream, Christmas Trees, Fireworks…they were all fun and experience gainers in their own respect…but probably the most educational “job” I’ve ever held was right out of high school.

I had bailed out on community college and my Mom was bugging me to get out of the house and start earning. So I opened the classifieds and browsed the “driver” section. Eventually, I landed on an ad that screamed “Rock and Roll to the tune of $1000 per week. No suits, no ties, no wimps.”

And for the next seven years, I traveled the continent selling house-speakers out of the side of a Chevy Astro Van. Toronto, Hartford, LA, Orlando, North Jersey, Long Island, Boston, Nashua New Hampshire, Brattleboro Vermont…nowhere was safe.

At first, it was great. I was barely twenty years old and making pretty good money…but eventually, my conscience caught up with me and I bailed. Landing here in Harrisburg just before 9/11.

What’s next? I’ve always said if this rock and roll gig didn’t work out that I’d finally open that bagel store…time will tell.

But for now, I’m happy with this grind of hustling for the next gig. It builds character…and character goes a long way.

Off The Record- Episode 11

otr-logo1-medHere it is!

Episode Eleven: Battle of The PennLive Bands, Poor State Workers (on the breadline), Trying to explain social networking to the uninitiated elder set, Entourage, The Strip Club Is Coming!, CoTweet, Jersey Bagels, Dave Matthews Telephone Game, We’re Number 1! (In Crime)

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Hey, C’mon…Why Would You…That’s Not…Whoa!

Jon Stewart rules.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon – Thurs 11p / 10c
Hey, C’Mon That’s Not … Why Would You …Whoa!
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How Will You Be Remembered

Alexis Cohen was struck and killed by a car in Seaside Heights, NJ this past Saturday.

She was from Allentown, PA.

And, according to a YouTube video, she lived in a studio apartment with her Mom and two cats. She said she was studying to be a veterinarian.

Alexis was clearly not the type of person who should be on television. Possibly in community theater; maybe a participant in a poetry slam; but certainly not on television. She most definitely didn’t have rock-star potential.

The episode of American Idol which Alexis Cohen appeared was one of the few that I watched during the series tenure on Fox. And I distinctly recall feeling sorry for her after her attempt at “making it” was snubbed by Simon Cowell and Co. after she belted out Grace Slick’s “Somebody To Love”.

My feelings weren’t because she wasn’t selected to go on to Hollywood. (She obviously wasn’t the pretty-girl that the television show seems to select.) But I felt bad for her because I just knew that she was selected purely for the necessary comedic element which often results in anonymous ridicule, berating and insults on the internet.

Poor Alexis Cohen; the shows producers didn’t even have the decency to edit out her incorrect identification of a song about her hometown, Allentown, PA. “I’m from Allentown, Pennsylvania. There was a song written about Allentown. I believe it was by Bon Jovi” she said in her pre-performance interview. (“Allentown” is by Billy Joel)

From the start, her appearance on American Idol was for nothing other than comedic purposes. But not in the “laughing with” context. The soulless producers at AI clearly had the “Laughing AT” perspective when crafting her seven minutes of fame.

So Alexis Cohen auditioned for American Idol and was selected to be featured on the show. She, essentially, made an ass of herself in front of millions of viewers. But it’s not to say that her behavior was necessarily her fault. She was merely being herself. But American Idol brass decided that poor Alexis Cohen; in her studio apartment sleeping on a couch with her mother, no father, two cats and dreams of being a veterinarian was a pure golden piece of car-crash television.

Alexis Cohen died on Saturday. She was hit by a car while down the shore in Jersey. And because of American Idol, she’ll be remembered. Likely merely as a footnote in the series bastardization of the star-selection process. But she’ll be remembered.

However…is that how she’d want to be recalled?

Rest in peace, Alexis. You’re in a much better place now, sister.

Alexis Cohen American Idol

More Advice For The State Workers And Their Pay Delay

Clearly, everyone wants the budget to be passed.

And the only reason that Rendell is withholding pay from some 88,000 Commonwealth Employees is to put pressure on the legislators.

They’re being used as pawns in a political game which is benefiting no one but special interest groups, lobbyists and the upper one percent looking for more money in their pockets.

So here’s my suggestion to the state workers who aren’t getting paid or receiving reduced pay:

WALK OFF.

ALL OF YOU.

I’m fucking serious. Imagine this situation on a smaller scale. Say a restaurant which employs ten people says to it’s employees “Yes, we have the money to pay you. But we’re fighting internally here and decided that we’re not going to pay you until we come to an agreement. Yes, yes…I know you’re all doing your jobs…but I’m going to use you as a way to get what I want.”

You’ve got the ability to bring this Commonwealth to it’s KNEES. Imagine 88,000 state employees ALL walked off their jobs at precisely the same time? Watch how quick they pass the budget then!

But do we have that in us anymore? As a whole? As a society? Or are we too euthanized by our flat screen TV’s and Facebook accounts and fast food and alcohol and tobacco that we couldn’t possibly fathom giving up these things they call “luxuries”?

“Sacrifice of the few for the good of the many”.

If that were the scenario in a restaurant which employs ten people, they would ALL QUIT.

So multiply that by eighty-eight thousand…they can’t fire ALL of you.

But by you guys continuing to go to work and not organizing en masse you’re sending the message to Rendell that you’re a bunch of pansies who can be walked all over with no regard to your dedication to your trade.

This would not be tolerated in any other industry.

(Let me repeat that…this WOULD NOT be tolerated in ANY OTHER industry.)

Lemme bring this home for a second…a promoter (like myself) says to his production staff “Hey guys. Look. I’m battling with the venue owners to get more money for projects I want to do…and until we get it resolved, I need you to keep on working as hard as you do and I’m not going to pay you until I get this resolved.”

I’d be out a sound crew quicker than you could say “load out”.

So WHY are you all still working!?

Certainly, only a handful of you couldn’t accomplish this.

You need to ORGANIZE.

Union leaders: what the fuck are you guys waiting for!?

Isn’t that what a Union is in place for? Isn’t that why some of you higher ups get paid six-figure salaries? To PROTECT the best interest of the unions membership??

I’m SO sick of the political posturing that happens in this god forsaken Commonwealth.

And it’s not just the State. Harrisburg politics are JUST as fucked up. (Probably even MORE fucked up if you think about it.)

And the politicians who will shake your hand and kiss your baby for the months leading up to their elections are the SAME ONES who are doing this to you right now.

Stand up.

Be counted.

You’re better than this. And deserve more.