I think I may have participated in my final rite of passage to becoming a full-on Harrisburgian.

Going in and out of bodegas and gas stations nearly daily, I’ve always seen the buy-one-get-one coupons for the Zembo Shrine Circus at the Masonic Complext at Third and Division but, in five years of being a city-resident, I had yet to attend the annual event. But this year, I put a reminder in my phone and set up a double-daddy-date for Kaiya and I to hit up the show with my good friend Jay Bowser and his daughter Natalie.

In all of my cynical daydreams, I could never have anticipated the absolute blast that we were about to have. If you’re afraid of clowns, by all means, do yourself a favor and stay home. After a simple parking procedure directly across the street from the venue, we were virtually assaulted by a welcoming committee comprised of around a dozen clowns- honking their clown-noses and pitching passers by show programs and souviniers before we even hit the door.

Inside, the line for tickets seemed to move incredibly slow- considering there were only five  or six families ahead of us. One thing that people need to realize when attending the Zembo Shrine Circus is that there’s not a bad seat in the house. Capacity of the main room is just over 1500, but it’s small enough that everywhere in the building affords a perfectly adaquate view.

Taking our seats in the mezzanine, we watched the painfully-slow introduction of the Masons/Shriners, stood for the National Anthem and even grimaced when they, um, said a prayer.

But with the hullabaloo out of the way, the fun was about to begin…

Let me say this: do not go to the Zembo Shrine Circus expecting a Ringling Brothers show. You’ll certainly be disappointed.

But for kitch and camp, this circus was absolutely phenomenal. Obviously trying to save on expenses, the Shriners seem to have contracted the most amateur and sloppy Mexican acrobats they could find this side of the border. And the clown brigade was downright boring at some points. But the Radio Shack disco-lights, Christmas light-strings around cutout stars and dive-bar PA system, this show seriously delivers in the “you get what you pay for” department.

Volunteers working the aisles slinging popcorn, soda and water were everywhere…but the soda? It costs a dollar. Popcorn? A dollar. Water? You guessed it. Cheaper than any movie theater, concert or convenience store around.

Tickets to the show were eight bucks (with the option of upgrading to floor seats for fifteen).

And the required souveniers for the kiddies- light sticks, stuffed animals, light-up wands were all under ten bucks. Kaiya got a Unicorn on a stick for seven; Natalie opted for the light-saber for five.

At the opening of the show, the Emcee cracked a joke- “If you enjoy the show tonight, please go home and tell all of your friends, family and neighbors. If you don’t happen to have a good time….then, let’s keep that to ourselves.”

So that, my friends, is what I did. The Zembo Shrine Circus is, undoubtedly, campy, cheap and dated. But for an affordable few hours close enough to walk to, family-oriented fun and memories that could, potentially, last a lifetime, this is certainly a great place to go. It runs now through Saturday March 28th.

Not convinced yet? How ’bout if I mention they have dancing bears!?