Archive for February 28, 2009

One More Reason To Read The News Online

The Patriot News – Harrisburg’s esteemed source of news in the Midstate- quietly raised their prices today.

Monday thru Saturday appear to now cost a whopping seventy five cents.

The Sunday rag will now set you back two bucks.

(I think I might have mentioned this before)

seventy-five

Reed and Deep Throat- Thoughts On The Papenfuse FBI Allegation

By now, most of you are aware that Eric Papenfuse made a pretty heavy allegation against Mayor Steven Reed and John Lavenda at his city-council-candidacy-announcement/press conference at the forthcoming Midtown Scholar Bookstore last night.

And certainly, most of you have likely read the commentary by Patriot News crime reporter Matthew Kemeny on either PennLive or in today’s Patriot News.

Finally, hopefully most of you have noticed the egregious error in Kemeny’s initial report.

Simply by stating that Papenfuse reached out to the FBI- as opposed to what really occurred (and what Papenfuse stated three times in his press conference last night) – The FBI, according to Papenfuse, contacted him to participate in the investigation; Kemeney put a completely different spin on the story.

Which brings us to the next part of what has not-surprisingly become a defensive stance from the Papenfuse camp.

City Spokesman Matthew Coulter issued a statement to all media essentially discounting Papenfuse’s credibility and resorted even to name calling by stating: “Yet again, Mr. Papenfuse has made a fool of himself through his erratic actions, beliefs and conduct”.

So here we have our city spokesman calling a local business owner and property re developer a “fool” and brushed off his actions by calling them “erratic” while at the same time questioning his beliefs.

(Sidebar: blogger Josh Karns wrote a very interesting recap of nearly all of Matt Coulter’s public statements. Read them here)

Ironically, Coulter’s statement that “This is nothing but a publicity stunt for his just-announced campaign” with regard to Papenfuse’s council-run announcement echoes something he said about Mayoral Candidate Les Ford last February. Ford initiated a protest against a gala sponsored by Mayor Steven Reed and Coulter called his protest a “petty publicity stunt” and continued by saying “Someone opposing such a good a noble purpose … represents a disservice to our city’s citizens.”

So let’s catch up here-

Let’s give Papenfuse the benefit-of-the-doubt here and assume that a noble local businessman who’s invested, literally, millions of dollars into his community would not jeopordize everything which he has worked towards simply to spite the Mayor.

So, he had a press conference and launched an allegation that Mayor Steven Reed and his partner John Lavenda have been under investigation by the FBI’s Public Corruption Unit for over fifteen months.

And that he was directly involved in this investigation- painting a picture reminiscent of a scene from Goodfella’s or The Soprano’s- by informing the public that he was asked to wear a wiretap and meet in clandestine locations.

Taking into consideration Eric’s long-standing presence in the community- combined with Coulter and Reed’s de facto argument that anyone who opposes the dually dubbed “Mayor For Life” is simply seeking publicity and is living in a fantasy world-

And pile onto that the notion that, as citizens, we all sort of knew that something has smelled fishy at Harrisburg City Hall- and we can’t quite put our finger on it. The incinerator. Barlow/Covanta. School board fiasco. Harrisburg Senators “contribution” to the Sports Hall of Fame. Bobblehead dolls. Wild West Artifacts. Questionable accounting within the confines of our record books. The Harrisburg Authority debacles. (This list goes on…)

Who’s the one with questionable credibility here?

Could it really be Eric Papenfuse? A person who has put his (and his family’s) name, reputation and business on the line? With zero visible wrongdoing in his history as a citizen and business owner in this city?

Or is it Mayor Steven Reed with the questionable credibility?

Is it really so hard to believe that the Federal Bureau of Investigation could be looking into the actions of our seven term Mayor?

Let’s not forget the lessons we’ve learned over the past year about Mayors in surrounding cities- the Mayor of Baltimore was indicted for accepting gifts and a fur coat. Hartford, CT Mayor Eddie Perez was indicted on bribery charges. And Gulfport, MS Mayor was indicted on charges of funneling money intended for Hurricane Katrina relief to, instead, complete renovations in his home.

So when Eric Papenfuse told the press that the FBI was investigating Reed for his lack of accounting of nearly fifty thousand dollars worth of artifacts purchased with taxpayer money for a failed museum, I don’t have a hard time believing that.

But it appears that what we have here is going to be a battle between the presses. If you believe what you read in the Patriot, you may be leaning towards “Eric is a kook.” But if you scratch barely an inch below the surface of their obviously biased reporting, you may believe that, possibly, Eric Papenfuse isn’t making this up.

Besides. Would Reed even know if he was under investigation?

Does a drug dealer know that he’s under investigation before the task force shows up at his door?

Not likely.

For The Win: JANKS ARRESTED

A Pennsylvania man who goes by Captain Janks, a personality on the “Howard Stern Show,” turned himself in Wednesday to New Jersey State Police at Perryville on a theft charge.

Hey Janks- I’ll raise a toast to your stupidity tonight.

Papenfuse Launches A Scud Missle Into The Bunker Of Harrisburg Politics

Eric Papenfuse, local political activist, former Harrisburg Authority Member and owner of the Midtown Scholar Bookstore announced a press conference scheduled for 5:30PM on Thursday February 26 in front of the forthcoming new home of his bookstore located at 1302 N 3rd Street (across from the Broad Street Market)

Papenfuse is scheduled to discuss for the first time his reasons for resigning from the Harrisburg Authority as well as his cooperation with the Federal Bureau of Investigation (that’s the FBI for those of you just tuning in) on their corruption investigation of several Harrisburg City Officials.

In related news, within minutes of receiving word of Papenfuse’s press conference at 5:30 Thursday, Mayor Steven Reed announced a press conference of his own…at 4:30 on Thursday the 26th of February.

Keywords: Mayor Steven Reed, FBI Corruption Investigation, Harrisburg.

An Open Letter To My Stalker

Dear Stalker,

When I got your first package in the mail, I have to admit that I was somewhat flattered. Maybe even intrigued a little. But certainly not turned on by the contents of the thirty pages you tore out of a Penthouse erotic novel. Don’t get me wrong- I’ve got a seasoned palate. But the contents of that book didn’t really do much for me. In fact, it made me a little bit unnerved- but still curious of who would send me such a thing?

You were clever in your mailing method- it was cute that you included “United States” underneath the Zip+4 which you included to ensure prompt delivery – even though it was mailed from the same zip code where I reside. And even cuter was that you so painstakingly printed the return address and taped it to the envelope- using my address.

Perplexed, I was.

And then, a couple of weeks later when you mailed me that four page section of a Russian newspaper that was, presumably, the entertainment section (I can’t read Russian…so I can only hypothesize) and so cutely made that little cutout of two stick figures engaged in, um, relations and stapled it under the photo of the Russian actor behind bars….I must say that’s when this affair began to get mildly concerning.

But nearly a month went by with nary another letter. I was partly relieved but also sort of disappointed that I’d never get another clue as to who you may be.

Sure, I ignored your repeated requests (in printed, ransom-letter form taped to the contents of both packages) to “keep this to yourself” and that you “hope you like secrets, Michael” because, Stalker, I didn’t keep them to myself. In fact, I’ve told almost everyone I know about these kooky little packages I keep getting. (I’m not sure if you recall this or not, but I am a blogger. Which, more-or-less translates to “I Have A Big Mouth And Don’t Know When To Shut It”) so, of COURSE I’m going to tell people about this.

But I would have kept it off of the blog until the envelope I got this week…remember that one? Oh, it was so engaging, er, uh…chilling to get another odd envelope in  my mailbox that felt as if it had some sort of a stick…or possibly a needle in it.

I dashed up to my apartment and carefully opened the letter- careful not to touch the contents- and emptied it on the table. Thank you, Stalker, for sending me that four inch stick of pussy willow and folding it into two pieces of paper; one which read “Pussy” in 72 point bold typeface and the second sheet of paper reading “willow” in 8 point font.

It was so thoughtful of you. Where oh where did you ever find pussy willow this time of year?

Maybe Clarion? Perhaps Erie? I just don’t know…I just don’t know where one would find that genus of plant in this climate.

Look, seriously- thank you for the letters.

And if you’re the same person who has been flagging my Scooter for Sale posts on Craigslist, I’d appreciate if you’d stop that too.

It’s silly.

Obviously, I don’t know who you are. You might be a fan of this site. Maybe a fan of my politics. Perhaps an admirer of the shows that I put on. Or, as I suspect, you might be a recent ex girlfriend of mine who’s obviously having a hard time letting go of things.

I ask you, respectfully, of course, to quit with the letters. I have a good hunch of who you are.

And if I have any trouble actually figuring things out, I’m sure the Postal Inspector won’t have a hard time figuring out who’s behind this federal crime.

Sincerely yours,

Jersey Mike

(Oh, PS? If you’re also the one who signed my name and phone number and address up on a bunch of financial sites, I’d appreciate if you’d quit that shit too.)