Jersey Mike

I was watching television tonight.

Man vs. Wild, to be exact.

Have you seen this program? It’s on the Discovery channel.

Basically, it’s this guy with an Australian-ish accent who gets himself dropped in these remote locations- in the wild- and basically lives like a caveman for a few days; navigating this episode through some crazy swamp prone to hurricanes, tornados, alligators, killer mosquitos and nothing but knee-deep wetlands for landscape.

So the guy’s got nothing but the clothes on his back, a pocketknife, some arbitrary tools and…a camera crew. (Maybe it’s only one camera. But nonetheless. He’s not completely alone)

ANYWAY- during the episode, the guy came to a river and didn’t want to swim across because he was afraid of the alligators. (Pfft. Alligators, shmalligators) Incidentally, there was an old lean-to built conveniently along the riverbank which had been tattered after years of exposure to storms and, um…being in the swamp.

So, the Steve Irwin/Mac Guyver hybrid took some planks and plywood from the old, convenient lean-to and built a raft. It took him three or four times trying different combinations of planks, beams and two-by-fours, but eventually he got it. And paddled his way across the river.

Which lead to this summers version of last summers’ idea for the Great Midtown Kitten Hunt-

And here is my idea- up for the taking by anyone who wants to do it because I’m not much of an outdoors kind of guy but thought this could be a pretty fun activity for the right group of people to do. Hell- I might even participate.

ANYWAY- Put together a few teams of three or four people each and the goal is to cross the Susquehanna River- with a destination of either McCormick Island…or Wormleysburg…or City Island..wherever. But the only way you may cross the river is on a raft…constructed entirely of items found in the trash within the city of Harrisburg. Sheet rock, plywood, old cellar doors, front doors, back doors, two-by-fours…whatever. And you can’t use traditional tools like hammers or nails. (Mac Irwin didn’t have a hammer- he had a big knife and used a stick to pound nails into the raft)

Oh, and of course it would have to be safe. I’m sure that Harrisburg River Rescue would volunteer to monitor the participants. ‘Cause everybody’s gotta be a team-player, right?

So there you go. Who wants to start a new Harrisburg tradition?