Jersey Mike

Kaiya wants a new kitten.

She already has a cat- it’s orange- and about three years old.

But she wants another kitten.

So I’ll get her one.

Kittens are cute- but cats tend to rank higher on the “suck” charts- hence why this kitten (as well as the current cat) will continue to reside with her at her mom’s house.

I looked through the paper on Sunday- and found a few ‘free kitten’ ads- none of which have called me back yet.

I figure- if someone’s cat has a litter, it’s probably not as urgent as selling a car- or renting out a property. So the call-back time may be delayed some.

Monday Night

After a filling dinner at Zembie’s, my friend Erin and her cute new roommate Sarah and I opted to drink a few beers and hang out at my place- in lieu of another stale night at the bar.

While enjoying the near-perfect weather of a warm June night, my neighbor appeared at the fence next door. He seemed to be working on some sort of project- but upon closer review, we had no idea what fun we were in for…

You see, the neighbors cat just had kittens- a litter of five or six (the neighbor thinks that the mother may have eaten one) and he was out behind the shed- rigging up a cardboard tomato box with a stick and a piece of fishing line.

He was hunting kittens.

Drenched with boredom, our eyes lit up and the collective excitement came to a hilt- last night in Midtown, we had our very first Kitten Hunt.

(Sure, sure…there are COUNTLESS other more productive things we could have been doing- but we ALL need some recreation in our lives, right?)

I darted across the street to the Citgo and fetched a dusty can of tuna fish. Sprinting back to the pad, I ran up the stairs and opened that sucker up- dutifully stoked at the idea of a hunting expedition in the alley of my apartment building.

I hopped the fence and stealthily set the trap – fresh can of Charlie Tuna and a rickety stick holding up a flimsy tomato box tied with fishing line- the ripcord conveniently threaded back to our perch on the stoop.

We polished off a growler of ABC Hefe Weizen - and talked quietly- like lion hunters on the Discovery Channel…but not quite.

Suddenly, we heard the rustle of the leaves- we all hushed and quietly crept to the fence- I gently pulled out the slack of the ripcord and YANKED the trap shut-

A quick, high pitched “reeAAAAwwww” and bursts of laughter filled the air as the flimsy tomato box scurried along the edge of the shed. Darting back and forth, it looked like the box was alive-

I hopped the fence..but when I arrived at the box- our kitten had escaped. Which wasn’t really that surprising, considering how light and beat up the tomato box was.

We caught our breath and decided we’d need to build a better trap.

The concept works fine- fishing line tied to a stick with a can of tuna as the bait- but we’d need something HEAVIER if we wanted to contain our little furry friend.

Based on the available Kitten Hunting Apparatus in my apartment, we whittled our choices down to either a large plastic storage bin, a perfect-size-but-too-loaded-with-my-crap US Mail box or a square milk crate.

Considering the milk crate only had a few envelopes and a day planner in it, we decided that was our best bet.

After re-setting the trap, we had a few more beers- UFO Raspberry Hefeweizen- a delectable summer brew for a Kitten Hunting Expedition on a warm June night-

But the night drew on- and the kittens were on to us. They didn’t come NEAR us again.

The Plan Is Hatched

For no other reason than finding an exciting alternative to The Bar on a Monday night- the three of us decided to turn this into a weekly event.

And you’re invited-

Here are the rules for the

Great Monday Night Midtown Kitten Hunt-

Teams of Three (you don’t need to live in Midtown, but that’s where the fun takes place)

The fun begins and ends at Mount Midtown.

Gathering point and start time is Sundown (right around 8:30)

No driving- teams may only walk to their hunting spots and back to Mount Midtown

Each team brings one six pack (the prize)

Each team brings their trapping tools to the start point-

Once all the teams are established, we go on our respective trapping excursions-

And the winner?

First team back to the TOP of Mount Midtown with a live kitten wins the beer.

*note* This is not a cruel game. The kittens don’t get hurt. And the only thing that breeds more than some of the inner city inhabitants are their cats- so it’s not like there’s any shortage of kittens that we’ll be disturbing.

If anything, we’d be providing a service.

Who’s in?