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I’m a pretty easy going guy.

I’m not intrigued or motivated by the ‘finer’ things in life.

In fact, I’ve become pretty proud of my minimalist, socialist and borderline narcissistic lifestyle.

Self employed, responsible and observant of my surroundings, I understand that from time to time, “shit happens”.

My home produces no more than one kitchen-size garbage bag of trash every seven or eight days; I walk to anything within a reasonable distance and I drive a seventeen year old car that gets fantastic gas mileage.

It’s a 1990 Saab 900S. Last I remember, the odometer read about 200,000 miles. She’s got a few dings and minor bruises-but I think the blemishes give the car some character.

This morning, I left Roxy’s after a scrumptious breakfast and three cups of coffee ready to conquer yet another “day in the life”.

Walking back to my meter-paid parking spot (hey, what can I say? I had a few extra quarters in my pocket), I observed a car parked bumper to bumper behind mine. There was about a foot and a half between my front bumper and the rear bumper of the car in front of mine.

The girl driving the illegally parked car behind mine scurried out from between the two buildings and hopped in her drivers seat. She backed up, swung her car across the middle line on North street and proceeded to execute a K Turn; apparently in SO MUCH of a hurry that she couldn’t drive AROUND the block-

As she placed her car in reverse, she must have gunned the gas pretty hard because before I was able to react and lay on my horn, she PLOWED into the drivers side rear quarter panel of my car…and then SPED OFF!

I immediately memorized her license plate and called the Police to report the incident. A few minutes later, the dispatcher called me back to inform me that the officers had tracked her down- to her apartment on Third Street.

Quick and able response time by the Harrisburg Police made this apprehension possible. (And I COMMEND the Harrisburg Police and communications center for doing such a good job.)
But here’s the kicker- the girl’s license is suspended for DUI- which means a mandatory thirty days in the clink. Plus fines. Plus additional time on her suspension. Plus, plus, plus…

Now here’s the BIGGEST kick in the teeth- because I’m such an easy going guy and the damage to my car is minimal; had she stopped and said “oh man! I’m SO sorry about that”; I WOULD NOT have had to call the police; I WOULD NOT have involved my insurance- and I would have told her to just give me fifty bucks to compound out the giant scratch and been done with it.

Personally, I didn’t care that she was driving under suspension.

Who am I to judge?

But for her to slither away like a little weasel after VIOLATING my personal vehicle in such an obtrusive way- was total and complete bullshit.

Lesson of the day?

Sloooooow down.

Wanna join my mailing list? Send me a blank email and I’ll add you. And then I’ll sell your information to the terrorists.

I’m totally kidding.

I’ll just give it away for free.